Post Traumatic Growth

By Mitchel Tunnell

Hello everybody, for some reason recently a memory popped into my head about a quote I saw once at my physiotherapist’s office. They had a quote of the week and there was one particular quote that really stood out to me, “we talk a lot about PTSD but we don’t hear very much about PTG”. PTG stands for Post-Traumatic Growth a term used to talk about the benefits and the growth that can come from experiencing trauma. I think the quote resonated with me because I believe it to be true.

  There is not enough talk about the positive intrinsic benefits that a brain injury or other types of traumatic experience can have on someone’s life. With this in mind, I wanted to go through the ways in which I have seen myself grow throughout the duration of my recovery. This is not a comprehensive list by any means, but they are the areas I have seen myself grow the most. So, without further ado, here are the ways I have seen myself grow since my traumatic brain injury:

• I have grown to learn how valuable I am without the prestigious identity of being a high achieving student athlete. This to me, is a reflection of how my views have changed in regard to what society tells us the “accepted path” is. There are certain qualities that society has ingrained in us - we have to be confident, accumulate vast amounts of financial wealth, have attractive physical features, and exceptional intelligence. I think this is bullshit. Real confidence is fostered through battling uncertainty and knowing that you can deal with it. Not through obtaining certain variables that supposably give yourself a better outcome as in society like they have told us.

•               I have grown the ability to advocate for myself and understand my needs.

•               I have grown a new curiosity towards understanding the deep-rooted causes of my various emotional states. Thoughts that may be dark and twisted no longer cripple my system with shame or judgement. I have learned to accept and forgive myself. 

•               I have learned that self-compassion has more to do with acceptance, patience, and recognizing constructive versus destructive self-talk. Being kind to yourself is a tool that cannot be undervalued, if you are in your own corner, anything is possible.

•               I’ve grown to appreciate and further understand the term self-care. To me, self-care embraces doing the basics really well. Being conscious of my eating, exercising and emotional check ins via journaling or meditation help me understand myself in a completely new way. Self-care also involves spiritual and emotional self-care which I believe can sometimes be left at the wayside.

•               I’ve grown to realize that I’m not invincible, but I am resilient.

•               As I’ve grown a curiosity for my own thought’s, behaviours and feelings I have also learned to treat other people’s behaviours, reactions and beliefs with the similar curiosity. Why and where were these things conceived? I now meet this new knowledge with compassion, empathy, and patience.

•               I have almost been forced to be more adaptable and to seek out all of my options. We are never truly stuck – there is always another day to try again.

•               I have grown to embrace the ongoing learning process of navigating stressful relationships in my life. They are often ones that have a lot of meaning to me so this has taken on a new found importance in my life. Creating boundaries has become a very necessary component of navigating relationship stress in my life. It has allowed for a major decrease in toxicity and has allowed the previously stressful relationships to be more positive and empathetic.

•               I’ve learned the most powerful learning is through meaningful experience not through sitting in a classroom listening to a lecture or reading a book.

•               I’ve grown to understand that people pleasers are often the cause of their own misery because they take on too much and they rely on other people’s reactions for their happiness. And that this misery bleeds into the relationships of the people closest to them.

•               Lastly, I have grown a better understanding of my privilege, thus allowing for a greater sense of empathy for the homeless, the mentally ill, and the addicted. There is a reality where if I lacked the financial and emotional support from friends and family, I could see myself having no home due to a lack of resources, having developed an addiction to an accessible substance that would help numb the pain, and/or having jumped off a cliff because life post injury felt unmanageable. Being grateful for all that I have, and not focusing on what I don’t has helped me exponentially in life and throughout my recovery.

So, I now pass the question on to you. How have you grown throughout your recovery? What new insights about life have you learned? What have you learned about yourself or your relationships? And what have you come to appreciate? If you feel like you haven’t checked in with yourself in a while, I would implore you to grab a pen and paper and try to answer these questions! They can help you understand where you are at and where you may want to get to.